I stopped believing every anxious thought

Tannia Montero, LMFT — Fri, 17 Jul 2026 21:16:11 GMT

Last week, I caught myself replaying a conversation I’d had hours earlier.

Did I say too much?

Did I come across the wrong way?

Should I text them to clarify?

Within minutes, my brain had turned a completely ordinary conversation into a problem that probably didn’t even exist.

That’s the thing about anxiety.

It rarely introduces itself by name.

For a long time, I believed those thoughts. If I'm being honest, there are still days when I catch myself believing them before I realize what's happening.

As a therapist, I spend my days helping people understand anxiety, and yet I’m still human. I’ve had moments where I’ve overthought decisions, questioned myself, replayed conversations in my head, or worried about things that never happened.

What I’ve learned, both personally and professionally, is that anxiety is incredibly persuasive.

And that’s exactly what anxiety doesn’t want you to know:

You do not have to listen to every thought you have.

Anxiety often presents itself as protection. It convinces us that if we worry enough, prepare enough, avoid enough, or think hard enough, we’ll somehow prevent pain, rejection, or uncertainty.

But life doesn’t work that way.

No amount of overthinking can guarantee certainty.

No amount of worrying can eliminate risk.

No amount of reassurance can create permanent peace.

In fact, the more we try to control uncertainty, the stronger anxiety tends to become.

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Maybe your anxiety looks like this…

The person who repeatedly asks loved ones if they’re upset with them.

The person who postpones opportunities until they “feel ready.”

The person who constantly researches symptoms online looking for certainty.

The person who avoids difficult conversations because they fear conflict.

Maybe you recognize yourself in one of these examples.

I want you to know something important:

Courage isn’t the absence of anxiety.

Courage is choosing to move forward while anxiety rides in the passenger seat.

Some of the most meaningful moments in my life happened while I was anxious.

Anxiety told me I wasn’t smart enough for graduate school.

It told me I’d fail my licensing exam.

It whispered that no one would trust me enough to start a private practice.

When I hired my first therapist, it convinced me I wasn’t ready to lead anyone.

Even opening our first office came with a hundred “what ifs.”

Anxiety was there for every milestone.

It just didn’t get the final vote.

Taking risks I wasn’t completely sure about.

None of those moments happened because I felt 100% confident. They happened because I decided that the life I wanted mattered more than the anxiety I was feeling.

Anxiety would prefer that we stay small.

Stay comfortable.

Stay certain.

Stay safe.

But growth rarely happens there.

So if anxiety has been running the show lately, here’s a gentle reminder:

You don’t need to wait until fear disappears.

You don’t need complete certainty.

You don’t need to feel fully ready.

You only need to take the next small step.

Anxiety will always have something to say.

The question is:

Does it get the final vote?

-Tannia Montero, LMFT

Licensed Anxiety Therapist

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P.S. If you’re ready to start taking those small steps to overcome anxiety, I’m here to guide you.

If you live in California, you can book a free 15-minute consultation to get started.

Schedule Here or Visit my website!

Find me on Instagram @thehealingtherapist or at @anxietyreliefservices

3 Signs You Could Benefit from Therapy

Tannia Montero, LMFT — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 04:41:14 GMT

Many people wait until they feel completely overwhelmed before reaching out for support. The truth is, you don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Therapy can help you gain clarity, improve relationships, and create meaningful changes in your life.

Here are three signs that therapy may be helpful for you.

1. You Keep Having the Same Problems Over and Over Again

Do you find yourself stuck in the same patterns, whether it’s anxiety, relationship conflicts, people-pleasing, or self-doubt? If you keep experiencing the same struggles despite your best efforts, it may be helpful to explore what’s keeping you stuck. Take a moment to ask yourself:

What would you like to be different in your life?

Are the things you are currently doing helping you move closer to that life, or further away from it?

Awareness is often the first step toward change.

2. Your Relationships Leave You Feeling Disconnected

As humans, we all need connection. When our relationships feel strained, distant, or unsupportive, our emotional well-being can suffer. Reflect on these questions:

Do your current relationships help you feel connected and supported?

Are there relationships in your life that leave you feeling drained, misunderstood, or alone?

Therapy can help you strengthen communication, set healthy boundaries, and build more fulfilling relationships.

3. Worry and Stress Are Taking Over Your Life

It’s normal to worry from time to time. However, when worry begins affecting your sleep, concentration, relationships, or ability to enjoy life, it may be time to seek support. Ask yourself:

How much time do you spend worrying about things you cannot control?

If things continue exactly as they are today, where do you see yourself six months from now?

You don’t have to continue carrying everything on your own.

You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone

Therapy provides a safe space to explore what you want for your life, identify what may be getting in the way, and begin making meaningful changes.

At Anxiety Relief Therapy Services, we provide compassionate therapy for anxiety, stress, and life transitions for individuals throughout California.

If you’re ready to take the next step, we invite you to schedule a free consultation. We would be honored to support you on your journey.

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Here’s a glimpse of one of our newly designed therapy rooms, intentionally created to help clients feel supported from the moment they walk through the door.

Beyond Anxiety